Bdtyktl

This is a serious question seeking sources that discuss the topic.

1. I speculate, maybe a father that regrets his son being born, does not support him, does not teach him Torah or Mitzvos etc is considered "תוה על הראשונות" (Rambam, like one that regrets doing a Mitzvah is not rewarded for it), may somehow lose his right for Kibud Av of the child.




2. Maybe serious child abuse or even rape can suffice?

Any sources or thoughts on this?

The Shulchan Aruch 240:18 discusses a father who is a Rasha. The Mechaber holds that there is Kibud av by a Rasha , but Ram"a argues.

Text of SA:

ממזר חייב בכבוד אביו ובמוראו. אפילו היה אביו רשע ובעל עבירות – מכבדו ומתיירא ממנו.

הגה: ויש אומרים דאינו מחוייב לכבד אביו רשע, אלא אם כן עשה תשובה. (טור ומרדכי פרק "כיצד", ובהגהות מיימוני פרק שישי דהלכות ממרים.)

There is a very good Hakira article on this subject.

I think one can shed light on this issue by examining the sources regarding the term "honor" (sometimes translated also as "respect").

No where does it say to love, appreciate, etc etc. In fact I heard one Rabbi asked by a woman, what if the situation is so tense that every time she tries talking to her mother, things get dicey, and it seems her mother doesn't even want to talk to her. The rabbi's response: you honor her by NOT talking to her...

So yes, honor is required; but look closely at what practical implications this has in halacha.