How do reconcile with getting deceived?
I am sorry, this is probably not a proper workplace question. However, the issue is severely causing me stress and impacting my work and hence I chose to write here seeking advice.
I hired a custom furniture builder 3 years ago to make furniture upgrade, I had faith in the guy because he had done initial furniture work at my home 2 years ago. He did some repair work initially and then kept on asking me for advances, since this is a usual thing in India especially when the vendor also buys the raw material for the work on his own I ended up paying him Rs 1.1lakhs (~$1600) in 3-4 installments, more so because he kept chasing me vehemently. Then his work suddenly stopped. I visited his shop and came to know that he had sold it due to poor finances, probably he fooled many others like me.
Despite of this, he kept answering my phone though and 3 years passed, I would cal him almost every 3-4 weeks. He was always remorseful and used to say I will pay, but never even tried to pay a penny, even in installments. Today when I called his number again, a lady picked up, who claimed to be his wife and told me that the guy has passed away a month ago. To me it seems a blatant lie as I talked to him probably around that time (I have all the call recordings). Also, she was in a defensive mode right from start as if she was coached to say things. I am really really p****d off now, for 3 years I didn't even go to police just so that he could get a chance to pay and now probably I have lost that money.
My heart is full of hatred for the man and the desire to avenge. How do I cope up with this? I have been trying to get past this since 3 years but could not and only ended up with a high BP. The amount is not insignificant and I did no wrong ever to anyone, why should this happen to me. Would really appreciate the help? I don't know how to forget this or forgive.
unprofessional-behavior
asked 10 mins ago
DchucksDchucks
101
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I am sorry, this is probably not a proper workplace question. However, the issue is severely causing me stress and impacting my work and hence I chose to write here seeking advice.
I hired a custom furniture builder 3 years ago to make furniture upgrade, I had faith in the guy because he had done initial furniture work at my home 2 years ago. He did some repair work initially and then kept on asking me for advances, since this is a usual thing in India especially when the vendor also buys the raw material for the work on his own I ended up paying him Rs 1.1lakhs (~$1600) in 3-4 installments, more so because he kept chasing me vehemently. Then his work suddenly stopped. I visited his shop and came to know that he had sold it due to poor finances, probably he fooled many others like me.
Despite of this, he kept answering my phone though and 3 years passed, I would cal him almost every 3-4 weeks. He was always remorseful and used to say I will pay, but never even tried to pay a penny, even in installments. Today when I called his number again, a lady picked up, who claimed to be his wife and told me that the guy has passed away a month ago. To me it seems a blatant lie as I talked to him probably around that time (I have all the call recordings). Also, she was in a defensive mode right from start as if she was coached to say things. I am really really p****d off now, for 3 years I didn't even go to police just so that he could get a chance to pay and now probably I have lost that money.
My heart is full of hatred for the man and the desire to avenge. How do I cope up with this? I have been trying to get past this since 3 years but could not and only ended up with a high BP. The amount is not insignificant and I did no wrong ever to anyone, why should this happen to me. Would really appreciate the help? I don't know how to forget this or forgive.
unprofessional-behavior
asked 10 mins ago
DchucksDchucks
101
New contributor
Dchucks is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
This is either a case for the police (external change) or a good therapist (internal change). Either way we cannot help you with it here.
– nvoigt
3 mins ago
I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because it's not about the workplace.
– nvoigt
3 mins ago
add a comment |
I am sorry, this is probably not a proper workplace question. However, the issue is severely causing me stress and impacting my work and hence I chose to write here seeking advice.
I hired a custom furniture builder 3 years ago to make furniture upgrade, I had faith in the guy because he had done initial furniture work at my home 2 years ago. He did some repair work initially and then kept on asking me for advances, since this is a usual thing in India especially when the vendor also buys the raw material for the work on his own I ended up paying him Rs 1.1lakhs (~$1600) in 3-4 installments, more so because he kept chasing me vehemently. Then his work suddenly stopped. I visited his shop and came to know that he had sold it due to poor finances, probably he fooled many others like me.
Despite of this, he kept answering my phone though and 3 years passed, I would cal him almost every 3-4 weeks. He was always remorseful and used to say I will pay, but never even tried to pay a penny, even in installments. Today when I called his number again, a lady picked up, who claimed to be his wife and told me that the guy has passed away a month ago. To me it seems a blatant lie as I talked to him probably around that time (I have all the call recordings). Also, she was in a defensive mode right from start as if she was coached to say things. I am really really p****d off now, for 3 years I didn't even go to police just so that he could get a chance to pay and now probably I have lost that money.
My heart is full of hatred for the man and the desire to avenge. How do I cope up with this? I have been trying to get past this since 3 years but could not and only ended up with a high BP. The amount is not insignificant and I did no wrong ever to anyone, why should this happen to me. Would really appreciate the help? I don't know how to forget this or forgive.
unprofessional-behavior
asked 10 mins ago
DchucksDchucks
101
New contributor
Dchucks is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
I am sorry, this is probably not a proper workplace question. However, the issue is severely causing me stress and impacting my work and hence I chose to write here seeking advice.
I hired a custom furniture builder 3 years ago to make furniture upgrade, I had faith in the guy because he had done initial furniture work at my home 2 years ago. He did some repair work initially and then kept on asking me for advances, since this is a usual thing in India especially when the vendor also buys the raw material for the work on his own I ended up paying him Rs 1.1lakhs (~$1600) in 3-4 installments, more so because he kept chasing me vehemently. Then his work suddenly stopped. I visited his shop and came to know that he had sold it due to poor finances, probably he fooled many others like me.
Despite of this, he kept answering my phone though and 3 years passed, I would cal him almost every 3-4 weeks. He was always remorseful and used to say I will pay, but never even tried to pay a penny, even in installments. Today when I called his number again, a lady picked up, who claimed to be his wife and told me that the guy has passed away a month ago. To me it seems a blatant lie as I talked to him probably around that time (I have all the call recordings). Also, she was in a defensive mode right from start as if she was coached to say things. I am really really p****d off now, for 3 years I didn't even go to police just so that he could get a chance to pay and now probably I have lost that money.
My heart is full of hatred for the man and the desire to avenge. How do I cope up with this? I have been trying to get past this since 3 years but could not and only ended up with a high BP. The amount is not insignificant and I did no wrong ever to anyone, why should this happen to me. Would really appreciate the help? I don't know how to forget this or forgive.
unprofessional-behavior
unprofessional-behavior
asked 10 mins ago
DchucksDchucks
101
New contributor
Dchucks is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
asked 10 mins ago
DchucksDchucks
101
New contributor
Dchucks is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
asked 10 mins ago
DchucksDchucks
101
New contributor
Dchucks is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
asked 10 mins ago
DchucksDchucks
101
asked 10 mins ago
DchucksDchucks
101
101
New contributor
Dchucks is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
New contributor
Dchucks is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
Dchucks is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
This is either a case for the police (external change) or a good therapist (internal change). Either way we cannot help you with it here.
– nvoigt
3 mins ago
I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because it's not about the workplace.
– nvoigt
3 mins ago
add a comment |
This is either a case for the police (external change) or a good therapist (internal change). Either way we cannot help you with it here.
– nvoigt
3 mins ago
I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because it's not about the workplace.
– nvoigt
3 mins ago
This is either a case for the police (external change) or a good therapist (internal change). Either way we cannot help you with it here.
– nvoigt
3 mins ago
This is either a case for the police (external change) or a good therapist (internal change). Either way we cannot help you with it here.
– nvoigt
3 mins ago
I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because it's not about the workplace.
– nvoigt
3 mins ago
I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because it's not about the workplace.
– nvoigt
3 mins ago
add a comment |
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Dchucks is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
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This is either a case for the police (external change) or a good therapist (internal change). Either way we cannot help you with it here.
– nvoigt
3 mins ago
I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because it's not about the workplace.
– nvoigt
3 mins ago