Bdtyktl

My boss has a history of bullying multiple people in the past to work crazy hours to meet absolutely unrealistic deadlines which have led to numerous cases of serious depression and even one (thankfully unsuccessful) attempt of suicide among his employees. I have heard a story of one person getting so depressed, it led to a divorce and him emigrating to another country.

He is known in the industry for developing a start-up company with his partners and selling it for a couple dozen million euros.

On public is a very soft spoken and friendly person. I would say, he seems the friendliest person I have ever met, which causes cognitive dissonance in my brain. This is how a lot of other business owners, managers and generally people in the industry know him.

In Sweden, where I live it is a part of the culture to avoid confrontations at all cost, so to what I have seen so far, most people who had any guts to deal with the situation, quietly quit.

I have done something stupid. I confronted him publicly and demanded a change. Lots of people supported me privately, but not a single one joined me on the public.

His reaction was cutting my benefits, creating obstructions to my work, not inviting me to meetings, ignoring me, taking away my projects and assigning made up meaningless tasks to me.

I have informed HR and after some behind closed doors talks I was offered either relocation to Germany (as I am German myself) or 6 months pay and resignation. Since I have a mortgage, wife and 2 preschool kids, I have chosen the former.

Now I am searching for a new job and facing a true job seeker's nightmare:

• interviews being cancelled the last moment


• people that tried to recruit me in the past do not even reply to my emails


• yesterday's interviewers hanging out the phone


• etc.

Last Friday a friend of mind from the company I have had an absolutely fantastic interview last week, after which I received super short rejection email, told me everyone approved me, but last week they received an email from my current boss telling them not to hire me, because "I am conflicting" and "will certainly cause problems".

Today, I had a quick chat with a union representative and a lawyer. Both told me that technically he is just exercising his freedom of speech and it'll be hard to run a legal action against him, but I should collect all the evidence and proofs of all the interactions between him and me, so I went back to office after work hours and found out that my inbox is missing lots of emails sent to him and HR.

This guy destroyed my reputation and all the evidence of this.

Now I am having a panic attack and trying to calm myself with whiskey while my wife and kids watching a movie.

I am not exactly sure what my question is, but if someone has any advice for me, it would be tremendously appreciated.

TL;DR I have bullying manager who is very well-connected in the industry and is destroying my reputation.

I would suggest being forward on fist interview / CV stage and state that XXX have a personal grudge against you and you don`t want to get in to the details due to being non-confrontational person etc.

State that your previous in-company move was due to him hounding you.

This way you would move whatever he says about your from professional to personal grudge level.

I am not very surprised about paper trail being missing, when dealing with such a snake, any evidence anyone may have against him, he would do all in his power to destroy
And when it is his word against yours it comes down to your metaphorical weight in the category you clash.

A few thoughts:

Last Friday a friend of mind from the company I have had an absolutely fantastic interview last week, after which I received super short rejection email, told me everyone approved me, but last week they received an email from my current boss telling them not to hire me, because "I am conflicting" and "will certainly cause problems".

You should definitely attempt to get this company to hear your side of the story. Assuming you have worked at other companies, your side of the story will be much more compelling with recommendations from other companies you have worked for. Additionally, you should find other people that have quit this company and would be willing to privately vouch for you. This will also bolster your side of things and could be useful for any legal action you might take.

Today, I had a quick chat with a union representative and a lawyer. Both told me that technically he is just exercising his freedom of speech and it'll be hard to run a legal action against him, but I should collect all the evidence and proofs of all the interactions between him and me, so I went back to office after work hours and found out that my inbox is missing lots of emails sent to him and HR.

You should write down everything that happened in detail. Things like:

• The date you filed a complaint with HR


• The details of your confrontation, including the motivation for it.

I'm shocked to hear that they say he's exercising his freedom of speech. It seems to go well beyond that, even though the part about winning a settlement being difficult is probably true. However, you can probably get him to stop by getting an attorney to send him a letter threatening legal action if he doesn't stop defaming you (this is usually the first step to a legal battle anyway).

My last suggestion is to reach out to people who you already know in the industry for help. People you know personally shouldn't be scared off by this guy emailing them.